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I'm so angry at everyone, for some reason every little thing anyone says, does or even if someone is just existing it makes me mad. It's happening with me to my friends and my family. I feel so angry but deeply sad at the same time. I try to be subtle about it because I don't want to exactly hurt anyone but at the same time I just want to scream and tell them every little thing I hate about them. The thing is they probably haven't done anything wrong some of them have but others haven't my friends are trying to be nice but I'm just cold to them. It sounds horrible I know but I can't control it. I feel guilty. I can't vent to my friends either because it may hurt them.
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Maybe something in your life has you burnt out. Maybe there is something deeper there that has you frustrated, yet you do not know what it is... Venting on paper sometimes helps. Swimming helps me when I am angry or frustrated. Yoga. Hikes.
ReplyI was a ball of barely-suppressed rage as a teenager. It doesn't make you a bad person, but it's pretty exhausting to experience so many emotions at once all the time. Everything is frustrating when you're at a time in your life where so much seems to be beyond your control.
Your instincts are to be kind and not hurt others. Your inner landscape is almost certainly just normal teenager stuff as your brain completely rewires itself.
The anger response can become a habit, getting hotter and hotter, as each little irritation just piles on on top of another. We're so caught up in reacting to the anger, that we begin to feel trapped by it. The reality is, that our emotions are temporary states. We can stop fuelling them, and they no longer spiral out of our control.
I like the Zen saying - Holding onto anger is like holding onto a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else - your hand gets burned. So is there something like cool water that you can use to diffuse the seething rage?
When your friends are trying to be nice, it can feel even more irritating, but instead of turning away, what if you just took a moment to lean in to their kindness, to try to flood your heart with gratitude and love because they care about you?
When you know your family haven't done anything wrong, why not let that empathy and understanding override your annoyance?
You might find that the anger can't last very long in the face of love and compassion. You might find that it at least breaks up the chain of angry thoughts long enough to give you a sense of relief.
ReplySame. Im bipolar and i hate being touched or waving back ect heck i got 200 unread messages over the lst two years. i feel your pain....ADD meds sorta help till the come down which just amplifies the anger and irratation. 0 friends and my video games....life blows. i want to be alone.
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