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TW: mentions pedophilia, etc.
When I was 11 I downloaded an app that definitely wasn't for kids. I saw it on the app store and my curiostiy got the best of me. You were supposed to be 18 or older to use it but you know that didn't stop me from faking my age. I saw lots of posts on there about all kinds of inappropriate things and I don't know why I didn't just delete it after that. I kept the app, and for some ungodly reason, I started posting on there myself.
I mimicked the posts I saw from others. I honestly don't know why I did that. I can't remember. I didn't take pictures of myself, show my face, or tell people my real age or anything real about me. When guys messaged me, they didn't even know they were talking to a kid. I was good at acting older because I was only ever around adults and their vocab and behavior rubbed off on me. I didn't have many friends or relatives my age. I kept posting because I liked how I got the attention that I was missing from my real life. Im 15 now and I still post on that shit app. I change my username frequently so no one knows who they're talking to. I change my age range around too sometimes, depending on my mood and what topics Im talking about. My location (shows how far away other users are to you in miles) is always off.
The attention is addictive. I post sexual things because that's what gets the attention AND because I specifically want to have sexual conversations (idk why, probs something pychologically wrong with me). They're the most fun, even if I do find myself cringing at it sometimes. I know those people messaging me are disgusting, pervy, assholes but I can't help but like it anyway. I like playing around with them. I lead them on sometimes and flirt with them just enough to make them continue talking to me. It's my hobby and I'm very good at it. Recently a guy asked for my snapchat. I gave him my fake one that I had made previously to give to a different guy off that same app (this different guy had wanted me to videocall him and watch him masterbate.... I didn't).
He thought I was 19 and having intimacy problems with my boyfriend. That's what my post was about. It was all small talk at first. He told me he was 27 and an ER nurse. That just makes me think about how you never know who people really are. This guys coworkers and patients have no idea that he's such a creep. That's weird to think about. After a while the conversation gradually got more sexual and I could tell he was desperate. ew (but did I keep talking to him? ofc I did). He sent me links to sex story websites, told me to read them, and asked what I thought about them. I kept giving him vague and uninterested answers. He also wanted me to videocall him while he masterbated. Yikes. Why does everyone want that?? He sent me a few pictures and I stopped opening them bc I knew at that point there was a 70% chance that one was a dick pic. He noticed and made a point to tell me that it wasnt his dick lmao 💀 (thought that was funny ngl).
I see a lot of pedo-y posts on that app. Especially in the "groups" that I've joined. oh boyyy. There are tons of "ladies, whats your REAL age?" and "anyone under 18 that I can talk to?". Those posts make me gag but I've still responded to them. Only twice though and I still didn't tell them my real age. One dude asked me if I had lost my virginity yet and when I said no he said I should have been taught from a young age (5-6 yrs old, according to him) how to "BE USED" by my "DAD or UNCLE" or some other male relative. wtf...... I ghosted and reported him after that bc thats just too much. Ive seen and heard a lot of bs but that one tops it all.
Most people on there are looking for hookups and nudes but there are some that are actually cool. This one guy I was talking to wasn't weird or creepy. We were flirting a little because that's just how most convos start on there, but it wasn't as explicit or nsfw as it would usually be with someone else. I actually had fun tbh. He wasn't trying to convince me to send him pics or anything. He said he really enjoyed talking to me and could see himself getting to know me more but he was also assuming that I was underage and wanted to make sure I wasn't. I told him I was 17 and he had a very not-pedophile-y response. He kept talking to me after that but stopped with the subtle flirting. That's respectable IMO. He was cool.
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I don't think young kids have any buisness having access to the internet. I grew up with it. The internet basically raised me when my parents didn't want to. I spent all my time online when I was younger. I spend less time on it now though. I think kids should have phones only if their parents routinely moniter them and teach them about online safety. Once they're old enough (and have the common sense necessary to keep them out of harms way) let them have privacy, but when they're 13 or under they need to be supervised. Watch ur kids pls. Love them, take care of them, listen to them, try to understand them, and keep them safe. You don't always know what's going on in their lives even if you think you do. You can't possibly notice everything, but you can always try.
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I'm actually grateful that you have good control of it. I have a younger sister and she has been with her phone like every time. I'll do your advice. Thank you for sharing this. And also, please always take care on that kind of platform!
ReplyI think it's OK to be curious about Adult-only stuff at that age. It can be easy to run into trouble (like that child predator guy out there) but it sounds like you took a lot of precautions to protect your anonymity, knew your limits about what you were there for, and you managed to keep it as a fun thing for you.
As guilty pleasures go, it's a precocious one, but it sounds like you don't have any reason to regret it, so I'm glad you were able to navigate the app safely. I do agree with your closing paragraph, though.
ReplyYou kept my attention. i loved reading this, and thats my only opinion.
Reply