idk

most of us must have heard this phrase at least once before.. "you said you were fine, when you're not really fine". i feel this everytime.

i was having a little breakdown moment just now. i locked myself in my room. they (my family) called me but i didn't answered them. my brothers thought that i was just being lazy cuz they thought i was just scrolling on my phone instead of doing the housework. my parents too, thought the same..

i wished they know what happened behind my close door.. i wished they know my suffering.. i always wished that my parents could come, knock on my door and ask me if i am fine.. guess my expectation was too high :)

truthfully, it's not that i'm being lazy but i just felt too unmotivated. surely you can differentiate that two. i just lost interest in so many things. i am always that kind of person who enjoy literally everything in this world and at moments that feeling just disappear out of nowhere.

i'll stop here. maybe this is just a temporary thingy. i don't hope things to get better but at least i want to stay out of this sick feelings of mine.

dear beautiful anonymous friends who by chance just read this, thank you for reading although you don't leave any comment. -xoxo and have a good day/night.