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So far... I have heard several people close to me say that they'd rather go ahead than be left behind by their spouses. They couldn't imagine life without them.... it would be boring and sad. Then somebody directed their gaze at me. They realized how embarrassing it was to talk about it when they knew it was something that I have gone through.... and perhaps, am still going through.
It's been 10 years since it all began.... 9 years since I've had enough of it... 6 years since I said goodbye.... and a year, since I have unwillingly accepted my fate. I was not left behind. I walked away from a loveless relationship and committed to doing things on my own. It was never easy... it has always been hard. I still struggle. I try to endure. And hope that I am able to thrive little by little.
I give myself permission to breathe.... fall in love with myself.... and forgive myself over and over again.
I give myself permission to cry about it sometimes.... pick myself up... and start all over again.
I give myself permission to hope... to dream... and to believe that I can live a wonderful life..... even on my own.
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Good on you. Life is what you make it.
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