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Depersonalization/derealization --->> also tw : SH
1 year ago · · Depersonalization,
I feel it starting again and this time I don't thing I can stop/change it...being the old me, back then where I didn't even show 1 bit of emotions. I was just silent. I suppose that the reason this is starting up again is cuz I think I'm weak. I promised my self that wouldn't cut but I did and did many many times after that. so now I feel weak and tbh I don't know what to do. I know this happen before 11-15 but that was cuz I had to be strong I had to be the parent but this time I don't have an excuse, I shouldn't feel this way, I want to give up on life, and yes I know I have a therapist but that doesn't change the fact that I want to end it all. I just want to go. I don't want to feel numb or have Depersonalization/derealization anymore. I don't know how to stop it, and I kinda don't want it too cuz I like the feeling of being in control of my feelings, I just hope people don't find out, I want to die