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Depersonalization/derealization --->> also tw : SH

7 months ago · 1 · Depersonalization, +4


172

I feel it starting again and this time I don't thing I can stop/change it...being the old me, back then where I didn't even show 1 bit of emotions. I was just silent. I suppose that the reason this is starting up again is cuz I think I'm weak. I promised my self that wouldn't cut but I did and did many many times after that. so now I feel weak and tbh I don't know what to do. I know this happen before 11-15 but that was cuz I had to be strong I had to be the parent but this time I don't have an excuse, I shouldn't feel this way, I want to give up on life, and yes I know I have a therapist but that doesn't change the fact that I want to end it all. I just want to go. I don't want to feel numb or have Depersonalization/derealization anymore. I don't know how to stop it, and I kinda don't want it too cuz I like the feeling of being in control of my feelings, I just hope people don't find out, I want to die

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  • Novni Guest · 7 months ago

    Hey, tbh I might not be the right person to respond to your letter as i also wants to very much die right now but I wanted to at least make you feel not alone...I'm the exact opposite of you I'm full of so much emotions to the point I might explose in any minute I really want to turn everything off, I'm in so much pain every day.... but since we're not the only ones suffering I guess it makes it hurt less, like there are people just like me I'm not alone ...i think we should give life another chance that's what I keep telling myself though it doesn't always work, but who knows maybe it'll really get better if we pushed this time too,maybe there's a future where we too can be normal let's hold on to that hope and not give up just yet...

    Take care, you're not alone

    Reply

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