What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I dont even know where to start. There's so much I could say but cant form the words to come out. I always think about writing and what I would say but I keep it in my head because it's all so much and I dont know how to explain it all. I've changed so much the last 2 years and not for the better. I know what I need to do but cant get the motivation to actually do. I'm pregnant so I feel like I have a time limit to get everything done but I'm so hurt and lost and broken I dont know how to put the pieces together again to become better. I pray and pray and pray but I always feel the same in the end. I've got so much pain and trauma from my past because of my parents and its shaped me into this disgusting person that I hate when I look in the mirror. I dont know who I am or where I belong or how to fix what's been tampered with inside. I dont talk to anyone about how I feel because I dont feel like anyone will understand let alone care. Because in the end we've all got pain and we've all been hurt so what makes me any different that I should recieve any kind of advice or help. I've been sent away from trying to commit suicide and I only came back worse. Im beyond broken and I want the pain and suffering to stop. I'm tired of dredding the day before the sun gets here to greet me, I'm tired of not being able to sleep because of my disastrous thoughts and emotions, I'm tired of being stuck with trauma that I have no idea how to heal from. I'm just tired. I'm to in touch with reality. I torment myself over and over bc that's all I know. I try to convince myself the trauma is made up and didnt happen when I know that it did. My dad thinks it's a joke and that I have none and doesnt take responsibility for his wrong doings. My mind is so twisted I dont know if I'll ever get out of this web of never ending pain. I'm drowning everyday over and over and I just want to feel happy not pretend it...
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
I feel sad
I have been with my friends in the same class for at least 6 years but we had to split apart because we had to choose different streams for class 11. I thought...
-
Growing up is so sad
I hate growing up so much. All my friends are getting partners and I want to be happy for them, and I am happy for them but I feel like they don’t have ti...
I'm sorry that you've been feeling low, confused, and lonely. Trauma can be a big part of your life that takes time to work with. It's not easy waking up to a version of you that you wish were different, but know that circumstances can change and that someone out there cares and is willing to help.
Have you considered speaking with a therapist or reaching out to a hotline where you could talk to someone about your situation?
ReplyThe moment we live in is a moment that has never been lived in before regardless what you went thru in your past. It may not be easy or possible to change what is to come but it is possible to change our perspective to our challenges. Having gone through tough times may make you feel your life and it may feel as if things are not going to be better. The truth is that you have not lived your future and if you expect bad things from life, you will not be able to focus into the good things that come and you will miss them. Understand that your future is not lived yet. You are going to have a baby and it is in your hands to see this as a gift or not. If you feel tired, before thinking things over and over, take a big rest at your first opportunity and try to stay calm about what will happen. Take everyday as it is and start noticing the good in it. If you can't find it, look harder and try to make things better step by step. Most of us live life as we were supposed to be somewhere else than where we are but we are where we are. Take it from here, happiness is way overrated and is not a permanent concept. You should try to feel the peace even in the times of unhappiness. It is ok to be unhappy sometimes. Feelings come and go regardless if you want it or not. You have no time limit for anything. This is your life. Another one is coming over. Feel the how you are excited and afraid too. Fear is ok to feel here but it will all go away when things take their shape in a natural way. You are a part of this natural way too. Relax. Try to see more and more good things and try to keep them on your side. All the best.
ReplyTrauma is trauma, and no matter what someone has to listen to you, I know this may be a bit of a moot point, but make yourself heard, don't give up, talk to people who have the same/similar experiences as you. Stay strong and know that no matter how alone you may feel, there are SO many other people in the same boat as you!<3
Reply