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I did something stupid a few years ago. There's this really, really cute girl that works at the place I used to work at. We've engaged in small talk, had a few convos here and there, and for some reason I decided to ask her out. She politely declined and said that she was taken, no problem, but I seriously have zero idea why I chose to ask out a 10 when I'm a 2.
Whether she told me the truth or she lied isn't my business. Either way, I had zero business asking her out. I don't exactly fit the description of what a girl wants. I don't have the body type or the personality it would take to actually get and keep a girl.
All I do is go to work, the gym, and play video games. I don't like to talk to people whenever I'm out. I guess I don't have a personality at all. I wish I was different; "Worthy" of a girl's time and attention, but I guess no matter how hard I work I won't be enough.
I'm not saying that I deserve someone's attention or even their love, and I'm learning to live with that, but sometimes I just... wish things were different. Sometimes I wish I wasn't me..
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ReplyWell, you gave it a shot — asking the girl out, I mean — and she told you she was taken. It sounds like you still hold this "stupid" decision over your head after a few years, but rest assured, your attempt wasn't stupid. I know it's oversaid, but I'll say it: there are other fish in the sea. Don't give up trying to search for love if that's what you want.
Still, as someone else said, sometimes you might need to question your intentions, whether you're seeking attention, pursuing love in different forms, or pursuing after lust. Don't forget that if you wish you're someone else, take steps to change. Maybe assess whether you need to give more attention to the people already in your life (ie. family, friends, co-workers, etc.). You'll find your way.
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