I can’t go on anymore

I can’t feel anything right now, I’m completely empty, there’s nothing going right. I’m at my complete lowest. I just don’t want to live, there is nothing worth living anymore. I don’t have anything, I don’t want anything, I don’t have any goals, I don’t have any feeling. I just don’t want to continue living, I don’t want to keep waking up, I cry every day. I feel so numb. don’t know how I can live anymore with everyday being the same. I can’t stand it, it eats me alive, I can’t stand looking at food, I can’t stand consuming it will every little calories going down my throat into my stomach contributing to the rolls. I can’t stand walking, it’s so embarrassing, I can’t even stand breathing I hate it. I feel nothing. Nothing but sadness and embarrassment. I feel like I want to throw up every single second. And going back to school will only make everything 10 times worse. The only reason I can’t bring myself to end my life is people will cry and miss me even thought I think everyone hates me I know somehow people actually do care about me, which sounds cringe but I can’t see anyone liking me as a person romantically, physically, emotionally, I can’t see it. I will never comprehend it. I’m such a disgusting, fat, ugly, person. If you’re wondering a little bit of what my situation is I have a skin condition that hurts like hell to the point I can’t sleep at night, I’m constantly touched, sexualized, and fat shamed from my brother who has anger issues, I hate how my body looks and have put on a lot of weight, many people have also fat shamed me like my dad who obviously doesn’t mean it but he jokes around and calls me a pig and says I’m fat but I take it seriously, and Im a loner who barley has any friends and have been sexually harassed by family members since I was little.