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My mom was toxic and mentally abusive to me.
I told my therapist of some of the punishments I got and how she sometimes unnecessarily flipped her shit.
I remember one time at the dinner table, talking about Full House (the TV show.) My mom suddenly flipped out, shouting, "Everything in life revolves around that stupid box!" (meaning the TV.) I don't think we watched any more TV than any other kids. I don't get that one to this day.
There was more that I told my therapist about but I won't say it here because my sister might know about this site and read these and know who it is and yell at me once again for being "disrespectful" about the bizarre things that my parents, in particular my mom, did to punish and humiliate me.
I know my mom has a lot of generational trauma herself. I never met my maternal grandmother but from what my mom describes, her mother was not a nice person. She, too, had all kinds of bizarre rules for my mom. My mom was used more as free farm labor than anything else. But then again, if you tell people to treat others the way you wish to be treated, you don't treat your kid the shitty ways you were treated.
My sister will never get it. We had a textbook case of family scapegoating going on, where I was the scapegoat and she the golden child. She will never get that my mom mentally abused me because she didn't get it the same. She constantly tries to gaslight me and say we had the exact same upbringing. We most definitely did not. Even my mom can see to some degree in retrospect that this was the case.
My dad truly feels badly about the way my childhood affected me. My mom continues to make excuses and justify what she did. But if you truly "want what's best" for your child, put some critical thinking into how you're raising them. The same people who say they "want what's best" also say that "kids don't come with instruction manuals." Well duh. If you're the *only* person who is punishing their kid a certain way, maybe it's not *normal* and you shouldn't do it.
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