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I like doing this. I go to therapy regularly, but it's anything but therapeutic. Doing this makes me feel free, I'm able to talk about my thoughts and convey my feelings in a way that I can't do to others.
Case in point:
We're all on borrowed time right? From the morning of our birth we pretty much have one foot in the grave. We're not going to live forever so we try to live out our best years as soon as possible.
For me I think that statement is understated. I've done some soul searching as I've said in previous posts and as I've said I'm not a happy person. Before, that used to really upset me. I'd cry or get angry because no matter what I do, I can't seem to get happy. It was quite recently that I've learned to stop worrying about things that I couldn't change. Happy just isn't in the cards and I've learned to accept that.
Anyway, I've come to kind of embrace the pain that I feel, but that doesn't mean I want to live with it forever. In about 20 years I plan on just ending it, but I wanna do it sort of on my own terms.
I want to get over my fear of dogs, so before my life does indeed end I want to get my own, I have one in mind, a husky. I've always liked those dogs and I eventually want one of my own. Maybe I can show love to something before I leave this world.
I also want to master the guitar. I've had one for about a year and I'm practicing still. Hopefully I learn to actually get good before I go.
I feel like I've hurt people and have been a burden to people whom I never meant for that to happen. I don't want that to be my legacy. I'm trying to be nicer, put more positivity in the world the best way I know how. Hopefully I will have changed someone's life for the better this time.
Like I said I'm on borrowed time. I just turned 23 so I have about 20 years to do all the things I said I want to do.
Wish me luck I guess
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Good luck! Sorry if I can't make a super detailed comment, we go eventually but it's also one's decision to go. If your mom or someone sees this and thinks I want you to die, they are wrong. I just want you to be happy. No one should feel obligated to live. People are like fruits, big means healthy and small bad quality. I'm a small fruit. But we all rot. Well, I made a detailed comment. Whatever, good luck again and remember that you matter.
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