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I'm currently doing my driving lessons since 2 or 3 weeks now and I'm really unsure about the teacher due to an incident that happened last friday and I really don't know if I should maybe change driving school or if I'm just too sensitive with this things, so I'm asking for honest advice on this.
Until now I've had only 5 driving Lessons and from the start on I've told my teacher that I get really nervous when driving and insecure because I don't want to make mistakes. He told me there is no reason to be afraid and I'll only learn while doing mistakes...so far so good, he seemed like an understanding man and this calmed me down a bit.
I was doing okay while driving and going forward with the learning so everything was fine although I didn't really talked much with my teacher...then on my 4th day of driving lesson i had a really bad day and couldn't do anything right anymore, I was distracted and could not concentrate at all because I had bad anxiety..he then stopped me from driving quite annoyed and told me i should control my anxiety because otherwise i won't be learning much because my perfectionism is stopping me..this made me very insecure although I felt like I did better after that conversation with driving that day so I could relax a bit...
Then I tried to not get too much anxiety for the next driving lesson and tried to not think too much about it when I was at home again but I was kinda scared too do those mistakes again in the next lesson.
And now on my 5th driving lesson last Friday he suddenly wanted me to do everything by myself and made annoyed sounds when I was taking my time to drive into a small street or if I was insecure about something...i had the feeling I was doing better tho because I was a lot more calm and allowed myself to take my time and not be so anxious like he told me to but this wasn't of his liking neither as it seemed.. at the end if the lesson he told me I need to control myself more and then proceeded to tell me that I should take more care of my hygiene...
I was so shocked about this and felt so embarrassed that he told me that. I always got badly bullied because of this when I was younger and this is a mayor trigger for me since I've always took care of myself and I even showered before going there and my family even confirmed that I did not smell bad after that. I must say it was very hot that day since we are in summer now and had 30°C so it may be that I wasn't specifically smelling like roses.. but I don't think he really needed to comment on it since he always smells like cigarettes as well and i've never commented on it. Now since he triggered so much old trauma and insecurities in me I got overly obsessed with my hygiene again and I had It under control for the last years...I kinda feel very insecure now thinking about going there and that he'll mention it again..
What do you guys think about this? Am I too sensitive about it? Should I just concentrate on my business and ignore him and just finish my driver license as soon as possible? I'm really not sure, since I really want my drivers license so badly.
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You’re not too sensitive, that is extremely unprofessional of him. I would complain to management and get a different instructor
ReplyThe thing is, overall they have quite a good review in Google that's why i'm not sure if i'm being sensitive and since it is a small Driving school, they only have one instructor..so I would need to change the Driving school to a completely new one.
ReplyJust because it works for others doesn’t mean it has to work for you
ReplyI had 4 different instructors. One had an accident while instructing and got the sack. He was a dick! The second one just never turned up again. The third was gay which was very clear looking back and being young I was blind but that guy would constantly take me down quiet lanes to practice and would ask to get out of the car so he could pee. (He got sacked and I saw him on a train a few months later. I assume he had done something very wrong. The fourth instructor was really great and I finally stuck to taking lessons and passed.
Just because the instructor has a good Google rating doesn't mean he will work great with you. Everybody is different with different needs.
Don't you know other people your age who can recommend a driving instructor? Maybe ask your friends who they use. Or even post on a local Facebook page asking who people recommend.
As for your anxiety. Get it sorted out pronto. Go and see a doctor. My dad suffered for years and stopped leaving the house at one point. In the end he was able to leave the house to go to a small corner shop and to put a bet on sports in a small betting shop. Other than that he didn't really leave the house. He had a bad chest just before covid was a big thing and his anxiety prevented him seeing a doctor. He died because his lungs stopped working due to a chest infection. I assume he was an early case of covid in the UK. Anyway get your anxiety sorted. Maybe now isn't the time to take driving lessons. Or maybe it is. You know yourself better than anybody. And don't forget it took me 4 instructors until I passed.
ReplyUse deodrent.
ReplyObviously I do use deodorant. Otherwise I wouldn't ask for advice.
Reply