What are you looking for?
This is just about me . ( It may seem silly )
4 months ago · · Stress,
If there are any grammar mistakes , I'm sorry .
My first problem is being an introvert
I often get compared to my sibling who is an extrovert . He is good at mingling with people . He is pretty popular at school . He is good at athletics . My parents are proud of him but the only problem of him was academics . I'm good at academics but I suck at socialising with people . I suck at starting a conversation . I want to create a lot of friends . I try talking with people but only some do respond ( others ignore ) . I'm not that popular . My parents care more about this 'popular thing' than academics . I understand that . They care more about relations and all .I suck at that. I get compared to extroverts in my class . Is it a crime being an introvert ? I want to have some alone time . For that , I do get accused of not spending enough time with parents . I just wanna charge myself
My cousins :
My cousins like my sibling more , the only talk with him ( video calls him , messages him , sleep overs , movie nights ) Am I their cousin ? Why cant I do that with them . For family functions and all , they completely exclude me . It's always like I'm in the back of them .I also want to be part of them .
Compared to my parents , I'm not that religious . People expect me to be religious . I believe in god , faith and etc but not to another level . They expect me to religious all time . I do start with prayer and all but I don't spend my alone time watching videos of them . My sibling tries to impress them by watching all these videos and all . By that , I get to be the black sheep of my family .
Being attractive :
Reasons I'm not attractive : introvert , not fair , not popular
But I'm really grateful to my friends who call me pretty . I wish I was fair ( no racism towards anyone) but I do face racism a lot like for examples they use statement like this eyeliner wont match you since you are dark , try using a lot of face packs for having fair skin . Bro , I like what I have . Why do others bother about it ? I hate my face for that . I am kinda flot chested also . ( some apparently do make jokes about flat chested people )
I'm sorry . I know this is long . There might be a lot grammar mistakes . I have a lump in my throat . I feel like crying . I feel sick . Why am I such a disappointment ? I want my parents to be proud of me . I want people to like me . I wish I was like my brother . I wish people found me appraocable . People approach to attractive people more ( most people wont't care if they are introvert or extrovert ) . I wish I could find someone who understands me and cares about me . But I could never find that someone because I'm an intovert nor am attractive