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First of all i have to say that lately it's been really hard for me to socialize, but with help of people around me i got better, or so i thought. I really wished to get better and free myself from all this anxiety and overthinking when talking to someone, but all the progress i had done seems to have burnt down into ashes in just one day. Right now all i feel is that every problem i have is at its biggest at the same time, overwhelming me. I have problems with food, as i always see myself fat thanks to some nice people i met in my childhood, and last week, it got really better, but now I'm here again. Also, i had kinda stopped feeling left out of the conversations and like and extra in every occasion and overthinking (stopped a little bit, not that much), and today i felt all that anxiety and impotency as if it was the first time. Mainly, because it seems that one of my "friends" is really uncomfortable around me but doesn't want to confront me about it, and so everytime we hang out with other people, even if it is at his house, i have to get invited by other people. And on top of all of that, today i spent the whole day seeing my crush kiss a friend of ours, so I'm heart-broken too. And so right now I'm crying in my bed second-guessing myself, feeling completely out of energy, and also with some thoughts in the back of my head that just tell me that I'm exaggerating everything because i need to get the attention of people. So i wrote this because i don't want to worry my best friend by telling her all of this, and I don't have the strength to confront the people i feel left aside by, so i wanted to vent.
V :)
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Thanks for venting its always good to get things off your chest. Alright so Idk what age you are or grade. Your biggest concern should be everybody else's concern: money. Make money and save it for a rainy day. Get a job. Do side work. Whatever can fill your void of the time being. You feel fat? Mow grass for the elderly. You feel bored? Do some side work. Get yourself out there. Not trying to sound greedy or anything like that but money has power. Also study too and think about college.
ReplyYou sound a lot like me 30 years ago. So much. The advice I would give my younger self is to just stop putting so much effort into social stuff. Work on things that will last. Make things and try to sell them. Volunteer with an organization and help change the world. I got happier when I stopped focusing on relationships with other people. Perhaps that will work for you.
ReplyRight? Relationships are way too complicated cuz everyone's different. Might as well focus on yourself.
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