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Depressed over a crop top
6 months ago · · Stress,
So…an outfit for a fantasy event that I’ve been planning and working on for months. Actual months. Hand painted pieces, stuff bought second hand and patched together, chains detangled and cleaned and arranged, all that kinda thing.
But now I don’t even want to go.
I feel fat. I had to go back on some medications that cause water retention, and my body shape is different to when I first designed the outfit. It’s a crop top. The trousers aren’t elasticated, I can’t wear a corset belt in this heat.
I don’t want anyone to see me.
I hate that I feel this way. I recovered from an eating disorder years ago, I’d hoped this mentality wouldn’t be a problem for me anymore, but it is.