What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
My girlfriend is one of my most favorite people. She's always there for me, she takes care and ensures I'm doing okay, and she's supportive of the things I want to do. However, the cons are starting to outweigh the pros. She's constantly needing me. She's heavily depressed, anxiety, and heavily bipolar (Not professionally diagnosed). In and of itself that's fine and dandy, but she does little to nothing about it. She won't talk to anyone about it because she "doesn't want to know what's wrong with her," and she doesn't consider medication because she's afraid of getting addicted, which with her past I can understand that part. But the whole problem with this is I'm her only real outlet. She doesn't have many friends and won't make any, her family rarely supports her as is, and while she has online friends, she plays COD with, it's only a few hours every couple days. But she's living this dream that she's finally met someone who will hear her out and be there for her, she doesn't see that it's killing me, or when she does it destroys her. I'm on the phone with her constantly unless she's working, and it rarely feels like I have a moment alone. It's like every waking moment of my life is dedicated to her and only her, and mentally it's taking such a massive toll on me that I can't focus on work or other at home tasks. When she comes over, it's a little easier because she's around me so she doesn't feel the dread of me being so far away in a sense, but I still find myself in these situations where she can't be away from me for more than 5 seconds. The worst part about all of this is I feel like I can't say no, or anything that doesn't favor her, like walking on eggshells. Because of her listed unofficial conditions above, anything that doesn't go her way gets her heavily saddened or occasionally mad, however that specifically doesn't happen a whole lot. The way she gets sad makes it feel like it's my fault and gets my clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety going and makes me feel like It's my fault for having my own feelings that clash with hers. Then when I try to apologize or tell her I'll get better or whatever, she then gets sad for another unrelated reason and blames herself and goes incredibly harsh on herself, so I then feel like the way I feel is just getting bottled up and put on a shelf so I can care for her and make her feel better. Even then, it doesn't always work and she'll stay sad or mad or whatever for a little while, and then feel better the next day. It's like I'm playing this game EVERY single day, and I cannot take it anymore. I need time to myself, I need to care for myself and I feel like I'm trapped so badly that I can't ever so much as bring it up without an argument or depression episode. I'm stuck, I'm drowning in this constant selflesness, I can't take it anymore.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
what i felt
When I woke up, I felt so sad for some reason. I listen to some Conan gray songs or Joji one's when I wake up but today I just wanted to have a quiet morning an...
-
My Timed Entry
Well I have been really stress with work and school. I work weekends and do school weekdays. But its hard to balance because im in highschool taking college cla...
i understand how you feel from the eggshells to the selflessness. I’ve been through this with a friend and i hate to say it but i dropped him, and I was so much happier. I’m not telling you to break up with her, that’s up to you. But you have to talk to her. Tell her how you feel and that she needs help. You can’t help her if she doesn’t want help. You are just one person and your just as human as she is, you can’t expect to save her especially if she “doesn’t want to know what’s wrong with her.”
ReplySounds like you’re her FP if she suspects being bipolar. Look into that and think about if you can stand this if y’all can’t talk and try to figure out how to make it better for you
ReplyCommunicate! You, expressing your feelings- that's completely Normal. Don't think twice before you say anything. Did she think twice before projecting her conditions on you? No. So why should you? Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. Tell her you're out for a movie you like and tell her you're going alone. If she reacts strange because you took time for yourself, then she's the problem. Don't be guilt tripped. Stand for yourself and live your life.
ReplyIf anyone ever reads this again, please know everything in this post is an utter lie. Everything I wrote here is garbage to the actual true story. If you ever at all feel like this, please take a step back. Please put yourself in your partner's shoes and reflect for a second. Think for a moment that maybe this isn't all about you. The reason she felt the way she did was because of me at the end of the day. I never told how I wasn't always affectionate towards her. I emotionally was selfish in the relationship and it took more of a toll on her than anything I'd ever done did on me. She was an actual beam of light who constantly cared for me, loved me, and did anything she could to ensure I was happy. She was the true selfless one in all of this. I liked to think I was helping but in all reality I was doing the damage all along. She felt an immense pain that spanned months because of my manufactured hurt that I created instead of her hurt that I'd caused. My advice? Sit your partner down and ask them to tell you how they feel if it's significantly large like this before jumping to any conclusions and assuming it's all about yourself. Chances are, their struggles and pain are no match for yours. I only wish I could've done this sooner. Don't do what I did guys, or you'll live to regret it like I do. I destroyed a relationship that was so amazing and beautiful because of my own blindness selfishness to the real problems at hand.
Replytook more of a toll on her than anything she'd ever done to me*
Reply