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Okay so i’ve been best friends with my cousin (who’s more like my sister) for a long time, like 13-14 years, and we lived together for like 5 years which got us closer. i’m 17 now and just graduated HS, and i’m starting to think about going away to uni with my girlfriend, and I’m just so tired of my cousin. She hurt my GF, and tried to make me stop being friends with my gf (before we were dating), and was homophobic and transphobic and super clingy to me, and even though she’s being nice to me again, I just don’t know if our friendship could ever rekindle, especially since the woman i’m gonna marry hates her. My cousin was always super bossy and stuff and sometimes i think we were just friends cause we were related, but now i just. idk. i wanna cut her off and move away with my girlfriend and make new friends and just feel free. I feel like a bad person though cause my cousin is being nice to me and supportive of my gf and i but idk i just don’t know anymore.
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This sounds like an extremely stressful and tough situation to be in so let me start off by saying I’m sorry that you’re having to go through it. Just because you want to move away with your girlfriend does not mean that you need to completely cut ties with your cousin. You’re young and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to move out into the world with your relationship and seeing what that world has to offer. I would consider simply setting your plans with your girlfriend, to move away and start at university, but don’t make an immediate decision to completely and wholly cut your cousin out of your life. Recognize the fact that your cousin has her own rightful opinion though it may differ from yours, and I’m not sure how she hurt your girlfriend, but she may have been coming from a place of possessiveness or protectiveness and not realized what kind of damage it would cause to your girlfriend or yourself. Most of the time people deal damage to the ones they love out of instinct not out of malicious intent. Live your life the way you choose and the people who truly love and support you will follow through and continue but will also give you advice which you may or may not want to hear but always keep in mind that they are doing it out of love and concern for you and your well being. Moving forward, trust your own instincts and if your cousin chooses to continue to be a part of your life in a supportive and healthy way then you’ve lost nothing. If she reacts poorly or treats you or your girlfriend disrespectfully, then express the desire for some space and she will either come around or enough distance will grow between you that it will progress naturally and the issue will be resolved.
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