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I'm tired of hating myself while pretending like everything is okay. Sometimes I say things like "I love this picture of me" or "I feel cute today" and I mean it, but I can't help but feel that I could be better. I look at my stomach and all I see is that little bump that's preventing me from having a perfectly flat stomach. I'm already a very small person because of my fast metabolism but I can't help but wish I was more fit and toned.
Besides my body, I hate my personality. I try to hard to be one thing and it never lasts and I feel like I'm never myself, like there's always a different side to me. Some of my closest friends are shocked at the things I say or do because of how I feel I should act. I'm barely like able as well. I can be mean and that turns people away, but it's just how I express affection because I hate being soft, vulnerable. That's one thing that's been constant with me.
I feel like I'll never be able to be truly happy because I'm never truly one person.
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I hate myself.... I'm not saying this because i want pity or fishing for compliments and crap.. I really do hate myself. I never was enough. I'm not pretty, or...
I know what you feel, I really do and I can't help you to love your body (bc I too hate myself) but as far as personality goes the best advice I can give you is: be yourself. I discovered that when you are your true self, no matter how boring or aggressive you think you are, people will gravitate towards you because by being yourself you'll be able to show others the good in you, your inner light. So instead of draining yourself in the hopes of fit in by being something you're not, try being yourself! You'll feel lighter, believe me!
ReplyThat's a tough place to be. Just know that all that did not come on in an instant. It will not change in an instant either. It takes moment by moment reprogramming to change those things.
There are tons of fitness advise columns online about diet and exercise for the perfect 6 pack. As for the mind, it would be helpful to redirect harsh or negative thoughts to something positive. When the negative hits your mind, begin thinking of something positive about the situation. And smile. Smiling changes brain chemistry positively. This is a constant effort on your part but will shortly bring results. I know. It's how I escaped my own mental prison.
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