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throughout highschool, i didn’t think i was going to live past 18. i was convinced i would eventually have taken my own life. but then came the hsc, and like taking my own life during the time where everyone was grinding their hardest and where i was studying would’ve been quite selfish and impactful. i also didn’t want my efforts for the hsc to go to waste. anyways as time went on, hsc over, holidays were great. i simply forgot about killing myself because i wasn’t as depressed. school/studying stress was like the straw that broke the camels back in my life if that makes sense. now that hsc was over, i was fine; everything else in my life was tolerable to an extent. now, back to the present, i am 19, and i didn’t plan to live this long. i don’t have any passion in the course i’m studying and i am just goal less in life. i never really thought about what i wanted to be when i’m older because i thought i’d be dead by then. but anyways i guess i’m grateful to be alive but at the same time life is so ass cheeks to the point where i still wake up sad and still have those days where my emotions are flat. that’s all, i am lost in life. i feel like i’m expected to know what i want to do so i don’t waste my years in uni studying the wrong degree. but anyways it is what it is.
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Well, first off, I am really glad you are here and that you are working on overcoming your problems. We all have problems, and we are all here to work on them to grow into stronger more nobler versions of ourselves. Be brave and continue to strive forward and I promise you things will continue to get better.
A very common misconception is that your supposed to have it all figured out in your late teens or early twenties and that is the biggest lie in the history of mankind.
I spent my 20"s doing all sorts of different jobs, but learned a ton and made friendships that I still have years and years later. You will eventually land in a good place after a lot of trial and error.
My good friend graduated with a poli-sci degree and knew he wanted to be a politician. After ten non related jobs, and twenty years later, he is in software sales and does great for himself. He has a big beautiful family and things worked out well.
You dont have to have it figured out now, and dont let other people fool you when they say they do. Just go at your own pace and when you graduate, just get busy living so you can figure out what suits you the best.
Its also good to talk with someone you can trust or even a hired professional to help get things off your chest. Your life has tremendous value and you bring more to the table than you could ever imagine.
I wish you all the best with your upcoming adventures!
ReplyI know exactly how you feel. When I was young I used to tell myself to just make it to a certain age and then I could die.
You are so strong for continuing on. It takes time to find what you need and what will make you happy. Don’t give up though. You are here now so take the time to think what would interest you a little and then start trying different things out!
I don’t know how helpful this is but just know I understand how to feel
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