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Hello folks.
So I'll start my ranting about myself so most of it will be common issues which most of us face so if you wanna skip than as you wish or you can just stalk me or the most amazing thing that you can do is guide me.
Introspection about me -
1. Becoming worst at social communication. Slowly I feel like I'm getting transform into a middle age man who wakes up early, talks about weather, doesn't have anything new to talk & these things have been eating me from inside. I am afraid that because of this, I'll loose all the near & dear one's to me. I really want to talk but I seriously have nothing much going on now a days.
2. Most of my friends are either going abroad for higher studies or having a good lifestyle with decent amount of money which they can spent on themselves without having second thoughts. I have my education loans, plans to buy a house & also want to pursue higher studies. I feel like I'm above average but not that good which will give me a scholarship. I shouldn't be jealous of my friends but still it hurts to see myself getting shattered day by day because of my financial issues.
3. I doubt myself in every decisions. I looked confused to other people. Infact I am confused. I go into that loop of overthinking of god knows about what. I try to leave in the moment but again after a minute or two, I'm burdened with my own thought.
4. I feel like I'm not good at the job which I'm doing & I feel ashamed of myself. How can I be ignorant & make silly mistakes. It's not like there is any major issue but still I guess I'm loosing my focus.
5. I have quit smoking for past 2 weeks. Can that be a reason for my numbness. But it still used to happen when I used to smoke. God knows.
6. Have a great history with my ex. She was confused about her career & stuff so she left me but even after two years she comes in my thoughts whenever there is something relatable to couples or girls or any stuff. No, I don't wanna be with her but still why is this happening. What exactly it means to move on?
7. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I want to take a big leave from my work & go somewhere peaceful. I wanna run away from my own home. I don't want to cut off my relations with family but need a distant & a happy bond with them so I can explore myself further. But still money is there but there are more expenses.
8. I'm have drastic mood swings in which I never want to talk to anyone. Want to say many things but have nothing.
Good bye peeps!
Please give me some suggestions.
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