Late night thoughts

My thoughts are this. How my doctor treated me and talked to me and made me feel is still bothering me. I am human after all. They made me feel like trash and worthless. You know the Bible says there's life and death in the power of the tongue, and its so true.

I don't know what was/is wrong with them it still bothers me. I heard them in the next room they were chatty and kind of just all talkative to that person. Me? They were cold dry uncaring seemingly. Asked me a question cold as hell as if condemning me and judging me. I'm not sure they have my best interests anymore. No good job! for losing weight and my cholesterol triglycerides being down from last time. Just a callous dry tone. Sure they answered my questions but I've never felt treated more like a 2nd class citizen and person like I'm less than them. Yeah they are a pastor. Of a small church they and their friend plus other's started. How do you treat someone like that unprovoked and sleep at night? I have a lot of words for them.

Do you know how bad you hurt me made me feel? Do you know what its like to not have any friends and not have anyone to turn to when you're abused by your parent? Do you not know what do unto others means? Is it because I have a balance that I can't pay? I mean I'm paying on it little by little.

I've known them for a long time. Everyone who knows them knows you can't take their medical advice much. They told me you shouldn't even wash your hands 😳😲🤦‍♀️. I got no words. I mean they were a better person than a Dr. But now its idk. They don't know what he'll I go thru each month with my family. They seemingly quit asking if I have thoughts of suicide. Discarded the paper. ???????????????? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING. I suppose I guess I cared alot about them having them as a Dr for a longtime I also thought they were a friend and had my back. I'm sure I got lots more to say. But I'm not some person YOU CAN MISTREAT ANY WAY YOU SEE FIT whether its a bad day, you hate me, idk. Im just as good as you. No I don't have a house with windows as big as a wall yes I saw it on FB they have one that big. But as a pastor you should know not to be condemning especially without cause.

The other worst Drs I had wree in the hospital one he wouldn't give me a work note for a sprained ankle n swollen foot I couldn't walk on I had to stand on 8 hrs a day. No sit down job's available. I told him this he didn't care. Fortunately a nurse after he left give me one I wanted to kill him. He bought to know how that feels. And another Dr on a Thanksgiving I had stomach ache and a woman Dr accused me of faking it then going pffffff blowing at me then walked away. I've treated pretty bad since living here. I regret coming here. But my Dr should not have treated me like I was worthless. Jesus didn't condemn an adulterous woman He said go and sin no more , as an example. But I didn't do anything to my Dr is the problem. Just what is their problem? I don't see them for 6 months. Good.

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