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I do not know what is happening. I don’t feel good. I feel stuck and sad. Every decision I take makes me feel worse. It feels like I am bringing myself down. I refuse to complete my work even if it is important. What am I supposed to do? What should I do? I want to go out just take myself and go somewhere. Just a walk down the roads. But how do I explain something like that to the people around me? I did not go to college today just because I did not want to. I have never taken an absence until and unless it is for a genuine reason. I feel like I am going to fail. I have come to hate my friends. I am shouting at the people who are near me. I am refusing to talk. Every time someone asks me what’s wrong, I tend to cry. Sometimes I want something to happen to me so that people give me a break. My insides pain. I want to cry. I want to scream.
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I'm sorry that you're going through this.. but please, try to seek help. It seems to me like you're probably showing signs of depression. I'm not sure, though. I'm not an expert but I have MDD and I used to experience the same things too. It took me a lot of courage to seek professional help but I'm good now. I'm on meds. I can talk to people. I can go to work. I can travel alone. I can take care of my son. I can function. So, don't lose hope. Try and seek professional help if you think that's the best solution for you.
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