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I am writing this here hopefully it'll help me get this thing off my mind ... so during my whole childhood and teenage I have seen my father being domestically violent towards my mother ... he would beat her really bad , once he broke her finger , then the other time he gave her a big mark on her forehead... He is an alcoholic so things were pretty bad ... I would cry the whole time covering my mouth and hiding under the sheets so that no one could here me ... my elder sister would always try to stop him but it was of no use... there were times when he just simply left locking us inside the house and during that time all the bad things would go inside my head like what if an earthquake started right now are we all just going to die like this ? It was even more hard for me when my younger brother also had to see the same things and go through same pain like I did ... it still happens sometimes but now it's not bad to that extent... so you can say I almost like have the fear from my past , I can still recall those memories... Today our neighbors kid ( he is in kindergarten) told my mother that his father was hitting his mother yesterday and he tried stopping him but he didn't stopped ... now the thing is that child's parents had a love marriage, I have met his father and he seemed like a really sweet person, I also met his mother today morning and she looked fine to me ... but the other thing that is going into my head right now is that's the similar personality my father always have in front of others , they think there is no one better than him and similarly my mother used to act as if everything is fine ... now I am honestly scared to ever live with a man ... I am dating a person right now and he is really sweet and nice to me... but the thought that there are chances that he might end up turning into someone like my father really scares me to death ... my mother is a really strong woman or maybe dumb tbh that she still stayed with this selfish, addicted and ruthless person... but I am not strong like her I can never bear something like that happening to me , I honestly don't even know what would I do if it ever happened to me ... so whenever I hear something related to this that thing doesn't ever leave my mind and keeps going through my head haunting me about the worst things that can happen to me just because I am a woman....
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That's so sad. But I do hope the one you're dating right now isn't like your dad or a man with hidden personality. I hope everything goes well for you. :)
ReplyIf your boyfriend even is a bit like your dad dump him. And talking with a therapist will help you.
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