Contained Feelings

I am probably in love or just delusional, but both might be the reason why I am here writing. I met this guy online in June and you could say we clicked and enjoyed chatting every night until morning, we were like that for like almost a month, he even said he likes me but then he informed me that he will be gone for a bit because he needed to think about his future. Since it was a personal matter, I didn't think much about it, but I did think that it might be his way of ghosting me. After a week, he messaged me that he misses me so to make it short we were back to our usual routine, though in mid-July he suddenly disappeared again, the last thing he said is he would be busy and that he miss me. He disappeared for like almost a month I even thought he died lol, but then he's alive since he messaged me in mid-August, he said he couldn't really tell me about the stuff he's been through and doing because it was personal to him, though he later told me about it and i understood him. I thought he was gonna change since it has been a long time since we talked but he was the same sweet, and caring guy I've talked to, and he was still excited and interested about stuff regarding me. I was happy, and I really think I am starting to like him for real even though we both don't have the single idea on what we both look like. Though, it concerns me because there's this thought that he might actually not like me at all but just wants to keep me around, not that I am heartbroken about it, it will be just a bit disappointing since I am starting to feel that I like him. Bonus? I think he's going to disappear again; I actually don't mind only if he really is going through hard times and shutting down is his coping mechanism, but I do mind if I find out that he was just lying about it in order to keep me attached, but that's actually fine too since we're not really in a relationship. Kinda messy, right? And nonsense.