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I wish i never met him man. Idk anymore. Things aren't the same. I feel weird. I am scared of us. No matter how hard I try I can't get him off my mind. I hate this. I hate being dependent on him. I really love him. I wish things went back to the way it was. He ruined sm things for me. He caged me. He was right. I don't feel myself. I don't feel good. I don't feel anything when he's not around. I hate that he talks to other girls. I hate how he is with her. Yes she's my my best friend too but I hate that she's your comfort zone. I want to be your everything. I hate that i can't see us together. I hate how ik we are gonna break. I just don't know what to do anymore. I Love you but idk where we are going. I don't see us having a future with the way we are. Do you really love me? Idk sometimes I feel you don't. You said it yourself it was lust at the beginning of our relationship. What you felt for me was lust. Our relationship has been the same since. Lol who kisses on the first date. Who touches boobies on the first date. Who asks for a bj on the 2nd date. Everything was lust to begin with. Does he really love me? He does sm for me. He takes care of me. He does alot but idk it's just scary. I am scared of what this will lead to. I should have never committed. I should have never fell in love with him. Do I love him to begin with or is it just that he is the 1st guy I have ever been with?
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You feel strongly for him. It doesn't matter what you call it, doesn't change anything because just because you love someone, doesn't mean they're good for you. If the relationship doesn't make you feel good and doesn't bring you the companionship that you want, then it's not the right relationship for you. Life is all about trial and error really, we try and try again until we find something that is good for us ❤️
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