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To Allah,
I couldn’t find love from others but I found it within instead.
I feel humans are too cruel to me to ever love me.
I don’t think I’m ever going to be loved from anyone but me.
It’s okay. I’m fine with that. I’m not sad about it and I’m not lonely. I’m actually excited about it and I feel safe.
I’m just relieved that I love myself and that I’m happy.
I’m talking about a flashback due to ptsd now, speaking of love for myself, I had a flashback of the art institute and I don’t understand what people were talking about, as I was being imaginative, but they said things that had nothing to do with me at all and they were being cruel to me because they were horrible people. End of flashback.
Bottom line is I need to be a loner. I’m not going to search for love anymore. I already have it. I love me. I love all of me. I’m sorry for everything.
People are always wrong about me and they seem to talk bad about me and I think it’s because they don’t know themselves and they don’t like themselves, I don’t know for sure though.
I said stuff that could’ve upset them and I upset them without realizing it but it’s not my fault. I forgive myself and I forgive them.
I’m just saying there are many ways people can be upset with me and attack.
I mean people even said I attacked them and I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone but they claimed I did.
I don’t know why. I forgive myself and I forgive them for their ignorance.
Maybe it’s ego bruising? I don’t know. But there’s something wrong with these people and they are abusive too.
People always attack me in someway. I know I’m not supposed to worry about it anymore because I love me.
It’s hard to forget past experiences still. PTSD is difficult and I’m easy on myself. I have compassion and forgiveness towards myself. I trust myself and I treat myself better.
When I talk to people they keep hating on me, blaming me, and they say lies about me.
I don’t understand what is happening and I don’t understand why they act like I’m hiding something and or have ulterior motives.
People act suspicious too. They also believe what others say about me. I’m sick of it. It’s weird and I keep attracting weird people.
I care only about how they treat me and what they said because I need to avoid these people.
I don’t want to associate myself with low class people. These people are bullying me and also trolling too.
They accuse me of lying and then when I chat with people they accuse me of being guilty and they attack me.
I hate people. I just hate them. I’m glad I love myself and I’m leaving places, apps, and sites that aren’t good for me. I’m glad I’m a loner too.
I’m sorry that I was stupid enough to be social with people. People are evil and then people keep trolling me. I paid for it by being social Allah and I’m sorry.
They are hard on me and they beat themselves up because they are treating me badly.
Why else would they treat me badly? It has to be because they hurt themselves and they are cruel to themselves. Why else?
People are my enemies and I’m not an enemy to myself because I don’t do what others do. I don’t say what others say. I treat myself with love, kindness, and etc.
I’m free to do whatever, think whatever and be whatever. I’m proud of myself and I’m grateful and thankful for everything I have.
I accept myself and I like myself, I’m intelligent, and smart. I know myself better than anyone else.
Everything about me is beautiful inside and out. It doesn’t ever matter what people say about me. It doesn’t matter what they think either.
People keep hating and trolling. They are against me. I’m not against myself because I’m for myself. I’m sorry for talking about negative things.
I’m helping myself be bigger and better. I’m growing and becoming happier and healthier.
People are wrong and I’m right because I love myself.
I understand that my vents are just that and nothing more. I think people read too much into my vents.
I’m sorry for being social but when I talk to people I don’t tell them to shut up and they do that to me. I’m not trying to be smart I’m trying to vent.
It’s bad and it’s dangerous to vent online because there are bad people.
I need to stay positive and stay loving. I need to trust myself. I’m glad I’m avoiding the enemy.
I need to avoid the darkness and go to the light. Thank you allah for everything. No one is better or worse than me.
Why is there so much negativity? Why are people calling me names like stupid?
I don’t understand because they don’t know me and then I don’t care how smart I am. Why is it so important for others?
Why do people ask me why I am fazed when I’m not? Why don’t people listen when I talk?
People are rude. I don’t care what people think or say and they make it sound like I do. It’s annoying and frustrating.
I don’t know what people are talking about and people make me mad. I don’t understand what they are talking about and they said it anyway.
I don’t understand why people said I was doing bad at work because I wasn’t and then I don’t understand why this guy said it was between me and him when I didn’t know what was going on in the first place. It’s frustrating.
Am I supposed to know what is going on? I don’t understand why people call me stupid when they don’t know me.
I’m not going to talk on 988 anymore because they made me feel worse. Then another thing is people suck around where I live and I can’t be social with anyone except family.
I can’t trust anyone either. People are always so negative on my posts I don’t want comments anymore.
I can’t talk on 7 cups, ventscape, 988, and other apps too. I can’t stand taking to people because they are so rude to me and they sound mean to me.
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