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for whatever this is, thank you for the advise
1 year ago · 1 · Need someone to talk to · Explicit
194
I think I'm having a crush with my brother's bestfriend. Which I think, is so complicated, since I don't think my brother wouldn't want me to be the reason of breaking their friendship. You know, maybe I hurt him or vise versa, or both ways. And I feel like he doesn't want that to allow since he knows I am so indecisive generally in life, and thus I might be unsure with my feelings, then I just get to hurt people because of my indecisive decisions in life. You know my decisions in life is what my family turn their fingers on me to point out I'm a loser. Although, I believe that I make decisions in life that aren't really good, in short bad decisions, lots of them, I'm trying to gain trust from myself. It's so hard. I don't know if you ever or people ever felt this way. The way I don't trust myself. A lot. It hurts and it stinks. I kept being disappointed every time I try to make good decisions, but still I'm trying. Tiredly.
Btw, I don't know if the guy likes me back. Or it's just me assuming. But I don't want to assume or expect anymore. Cus it's where Id get to stop growing again. Like me when I had a crush on a guy for like 8 years.
Sigh. I wonder how does it feels like to be smart, where you get to make more good decisions in life than bad. I wonder how does it feels like to truly believe in oneself. It must be so exciting doing things. I wonder how does it feels like to have trust for yourself. Other's many opinions mustve no effect in your actions, it must feel so free. I sometimes feels down of having a not sexy body and and idiot mind.
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😢
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