What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
Making friends as an adult is difficult. I am in my early thirties, I made a lot of work friends in my early twenties. Although we work together every day I feel like I am starting to lose my friendship with them. I am becoming irrelevant and we are drifting apart, it breaks my heart. One my friends became my ex a few year ago after a marriage proposal out of nowhere. This created a rift in our friend group. We finally managed to get things on track again, only to find myself in the same position I was in many years ago. They want to go out all the time late at night and after work, I cannot because I have responsibilities at home. I am still single, but I have family to take care of. They like to spend lots of money every time they go out, I can afford that, but don't want to. I am trying to be financially responsible so I could travel more and maybe even own property one day. They like to drink, but for religious reasons, I cannot. So I am excluded from a lot of the outings. I still feel their love, but I feel like our relationship is not the same. We all got prompted to different positions, and are no longer equal, so the power dynamic is also different. I am no longer invited to a lot of things and hear about the outings later. I know I say no a lot, but sometimes I do say yes. They don't want to compromise, they always want to go out late and when I suggest a morning outing or brunch, they say yes, then I get a text at 2 am saying they are too tired and don't do morning stuff. I love these people, but it's not working out. I feel sad and left out. I have a very active social life with people from outside work, but I miss my buddies. We've been friends for ten years, and now I am becoming obsolete because of my position at work, my values, and my circucmstances. Should I keep trying or just let things be? I try so hard to reach out and be accommodating, I feel like they care, but my relationship with them is not a priority. I am too old to worry about stuff like this, but it still makes me feel sad and insecure.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
Keep trying if you're happy as is. But also recognise that you have different lifestyles and values and it might be good for you to try and find others with more similar values to yourself. Join a volunteer group or similar, try and broaden your social group. Can you get help with family responsibilities so you can go out occassionlly in the evening maybe?
Replytry meetup.com There are many different types of group. But to be honest, your priorities changed and that is good. You are looking at your future while wanting the past. Let the past go, continue on the things you really want in life. Meeting new people might be what you really need more.
ReplyTake up a hobby, specifically one you can do with other people, and eventually you'll have a mix of friends who share your hobby or related interests. Best of luck.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Reply