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My mom has cancer and there’s nothing I(F18) can do about it. I’ve just been trying to support her as best as I can, she opened a cafe at the beginning of this year and it hasn’t been doing well, Me and my brother (M17) have been working there whenever we aren’t in college and every weekend. Thing is school life and home life sucks and I don’t even have enough money to cover lunches some days and I can’t get another job cos I’m helping my mums shop and I’m still at college. On top of that I get demonised for wanting to do teenage things like meet with friends by my mum and all my friends live in different cities and are very understanding when I can’t meet up and can only meet them once every 4 months before but now I keep trying to make plans in advance hoping it’ll work out and I always overextend myself to the last minute trying to make it work both financially and time wise. I also get guilt tripped by mum mum the few times I’m not at the shop because my brother is trying his best too but it’s not as good as me. It all sucks cos I know I have to support her in her time of need especially when she was diagnosed April this year and the doctors keep mistreating her and moving her surgery date as if it’s not been 6 months since she’s been diagnosed. This is meant to be a year of thinking about the future but I have so much going on and no breaks that I’m scared of breaking or when I finally break it’ll be a massive spiral that I can’t come back from (This happened before after lockdown and lasted a year). And I wholeheartedly refuse to believe that my mum might die despite them making a mess of her entire treatment and that the normal mother/daughter problems families have when a daughter has outgrown the house but has to stay will be the last memories with my mother. And I really wish it to be otherwise with cute mother/daughter moments but I’m just trying to survive the current situation and so is she so it’s not going to happen but if it’s her last few months I’ll never forgive myself but I am already falling sick at the rate I am going and I can’t overextend myself anymore than I am right now so I’m just stuck.
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This may sound harsh to some but your mum has cancer but is still only human. You're not always going to get along and I completely understand why her guilt tripping you, impacts you. You need to be your own person too and you need to socialise with ppl who care about you because life can't be paused. My mum is also sick, terminal. I get your concerns of regret but you need to try and be honest with your mum and tell her that you plan in advance to try and arrange social things, you help out a lot etc and that her making you feel guilty about doing things for yourself doesn't stop you from doing them, it just pushes you further apart.
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