I don’t know who I am.

In therapy this week we went over the 218 question long assessment she sent me last appointment. My scores are more consistent with DID than BPD. I don’t have DID and apparently not BPD either. She thinks maybe bipolar or possibly even psychosis. I’m not sure what I think but I know what when I look in the mirror I’m not sure who’s looking back at me. I don’t recognize that person. Of course I know it’s me but since when did I look like this? What is it that’s different? I don’t feel like I look different but I don’t feel like I looked like this last time I looked. And the thoughts in my head feel weird. Part of me wants to initiate *spicy time* with my partner, part of me is absolutely repulsed by my body and can’t fathom how they can stand to look at me.

Idk, I’m confused and I’m scared and idk what to do.