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Why does my dad not care about my problems when I always care about his?
4 months ago · · Need Advice, · Explicit
My dad was dropping me off at my hair appointment today, and I was talking about how it would be awkward because I'm so bad at conversations. My mom promised me she would be there getting her hair done at the same time, but I had just found out she lied...something she's done a lot of recently. My dad just told me I needed experience talking to people, and I gave him a heated reply about how I talk to people all the time, but I'm madder about the fact that my mom had lied to me again. Then he got mad at me and said well, I don't know what you expect me to do about this why are you telling me about it when I can't fix it?
So I said I don't need you to fix it I need you to listen. Then I let out a few years of pent-up frustration towards him. I said, but you never listen to me. You come home from the gym, and I ask about how it went. You seem sad, and I ask what's wrong. I listen to you, and I care, and I don't try to fix your problems because I know I'm just a kid and don't know anything. But I know I can be there for you. But you? You never ask me about my day when I get back from a sleepover or when I ask about your day, you never ask about mine. And on the rare occasion you do, you don't pay attention, and I can see in your face you're waiting for me to stop talking. So I ask about you instead because I'd rather talk about you than never talk to you. Then I quickly apologized and said it's not him it's just been a bad week, and I took it out on him. He told me that my mom tells him the same thing (that he never asks about her day and never listens).
I was about to comfort him, but then he said well, it's only been a bad few hours for you. I said okay, if you say so. I guess you would know what my week has been like better than I do. And he said well, I know you had a little problem at work yesterday, right? I said, yeah it was a little more than a problem for me. He laughed and told me one day it would be funny to me too. I told him he might be right, but it's still my life right now, and it's not funny to me. For me, It was a very bad week. What he didn't know was that I fucking cried at work 2 times that day and I was mortified and felt like I couldn't do anything right lately. He said,"alright, then what else happened this week". I said well, no offense but you laughing at my problems is very hurtful and makes me inclined not to tell you. Then he laughed at me again.
Look, I know my problems aren't as big as his, but I wish he would care about them and treat me like a person. Not a joke.
This week I found out that my mom had lied to me about this guy liking me. She told me his mom said he liked me and so I got excited he liked me back and flirted with him a bit more. I wondered why he seemed uninterested when my mom had told me he liked me. Then it clicked my mom had lied to me and manipulated me into throwing myself at this guy. I never got an apology of course, because "it wasn't a lie because she really believes he does like me." I felt heartbroken and used, and my trust is just broken with my mom now because this sort of manipulation happens all the time with her. The next day at work I got moved at the last second to a different position I hadn't been trained in yet, and the machine was apparently broken before I got there, and this bitter old lady I work with yelled at me, telling me I didn't know my job even though I'm new and no one had taught me to use that machine yet. I started crying in front of her. And then when my boss told me at the end of the day, I didn't do anything wrong I cried again in front of her. I'm so embarrassed. Then the next morning, I find out my friend was hanging out with my friends without me. So idk to him, maybe it's just a regular week, but to me, it was hard.
Then he took me around the corner and showed me his mom's old apartment and talked about his childhood there and I gave up on him ever caring about my problems and realized how stupid I was to try to get him to care about anyone's problems but his own.
sorry, this is long it felt good to talk type it all out and have someone mabie hear me.