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I was forced to quit my first job in May after a disagreement over my appearance - something that I wasn’t able to change. Getting that job had been fairly easy, so I’d hoped it wouldn’t be long until the next one…
I still haven’t got a new job. I’ve been looking and applying for various minimum-wage positions since then, and nothing. I was asked to interview for one of them, but ultimately missed the interview because I stopped on the way to help an animal that’d been hit by a car, and the employer weren’t answering the phone or responding to emails. I can’t leave an animal suffering, I physically can’t. I wouldn’t do anything differently, but at the same time…that was the closest I’d got to being employed in months. I was going to do a wildlife rescue course this year, but couldn’t afford it so I’ve missed out on that opportunity too.
I know that logically, I can be good at things. I was one of the hardest working people at my last job, everyone commented on it and they were shocked at how I had to leave. But at this point I’ve filled out hundreds of applications, remade my CV countless times, and most of the time I don’t even get an automated response. Just nothing. And it’s really wearing me down. If I go in person, they just say to look online & wait. I’m starting to feel like there’s no point in trying.
I have a part time job, but after essential expenses I’m left with about £10 a week for myself. Keeping a car running is almost more expensive than it’s worth. I just don’t know what more I can do. Months of rejection & silence is making me feel worthless, and it’s a difficult mindset to fight when I have to evidence to suggest otherwise.
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And here we end so many things at once.
I wish i can be the master of my own actions. But the final call was never mine. It was the people around me who decides on who i should be and how should i act...
Trust God's plan. I know it's exhausting and at times you'll feel hopeless and maybe empty. But sometimes, a NO is an opportunity to a bigger YES. We are given challenges and trials for us to be prepared for a bigger responsibility ahead. You may not see it now but soon when the time is right, when you least expect it, you'll realize the reason for all the stress of waiting. You'll be blessed. Keep up your faith. Keep praying. Everyone is also fighting a different fight and your strength to write your story now just means that you are strong enough to go on with this upside down life. I believe in you because I have been there and the moment God gave me the YES was so unexpected and amazingly beautiful. I was ready to accept it because He prepared me for what's ahead by the process of waiting. Everything that you are feeling now is normal but don't let it drown you. Again, Keep up the Faith. You live for a purpose. 😉
ReplyI could feel you are really kind inside. Please hold on, I feel for you. I wish I could tell you everything will be fine. They will be, eventually, when we hold on long enough. Don't worry, everything will be fine, in time.
ReplyI can't imagine how incredibly frustrating this must be. But lets look at some positives, you have your basic necessities of course it's not much but it's something.
I encourage you to keep trying, try until you really can't try anymore. And I'm not saying try until it's too hard, go past that. Keep applying, maybe to even areas where you initially wouldn't imagine.
Your worth isn't read by your economy. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that your economy placed you in such a difficult situation. You shouldn't have to suppress yourself in the hands of the government. Even if you have to work two jobs, to eventually find that one job.
I do tarot, I'll be more than happy to give you a reading for free. :)
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