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There's a lot I regret about the situation--about everything, but there's nothing neither of us can do about. No takebacks. No second chances. Nothing. Our friendship ended as quick as it had began in a quick spur of a few messages, but there wasn't a message returned. Nothing was sent back and instead silence ensued. We'd been "best friends" as we had called it.
Our friends warned me in private of your behavior, of how obsessive and snappy you were at the slightest of things. I saw your behavior--I experienced it thrown at me time and time again in small disagreements over the STUPIDEST of things. It made me cry and each time broke a piece of my heart until there was nothing but a fragile piece left on that hot July day. I should have listened to them. I should have never confided in some of them in the end, complaining and venting when you treated me at your worse. Ignoring me, breaking me, and hurting every part of me you could just through a voice chat or over a simple message. I should have left and I should have been smarter about things so my life would have been better.
I finally found that life without you has left me breathing easier.
I found the partner of my life. He built my heart back and made me feel like I was loved. He made me feel important and wanted when I had been beaten down by you time and time again. I don't write much anymore. I still game, but my passion for writing diminished in the time I had spent with you.
I laugh about it now, but the day we ended our friendship I was buying a new car and my dad (in all his joking) calls my car my "emotional support car" to make me feel better. My family knew of the importance you held, but that doesn't matter anymore.
Not when I have better friends and a beautiful, blue eyed boy that lights my heart up every time he walks in the room.
I wished death and more on you after things ended, but I just hope you find some semblance of peace. I hope you find therapy, healthcare for transitioning, and a means for taking your hatred out in a better, positive way. You truly don't deserve anything at the end of it all, but I've found peace in thinking on the positive side of things rather than leaning on my negativity.
There's enough of that in the world.
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