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1 year ago · · Depression,
I just asked Alexa to sing me happy birthday.
I've been through a lot of depression and trauma so I know this sounds stupid in the grand scheme of things, but hearing her sing it to me in a jaunty, inauthentic, robotic voice was one of the most profoundly sad experiences I have ever had.
I had messages this morning from friends and partners wishing me a good day. I'm going out to spend time with a friend, and I'm going to be playing games with friends this evening. Intellectually I know there are people who care about me, and I know it's depression that's making me feel this way. But sitting in the kitchen with nobody around and feeling a need to ask a machine to show me a facsimilie of affection just highlighted how truly lonely I feel so often.