lost in life...

don't know where to start..did anyone else felt like so lost and broken that you dpn't want to do anything but still trying to go through the day..your work...i am just tired of getting broken and broken again and again...??i know i don't want to die or something but its like i am dying everyday...my heart hurts...i am not a bad person...i am normal person but when people are again and again using me emotionally...its...just so tiring...what should i do...can't afford a personal therapist..sadly trying to survive through day to day activities..by working....watching netflix...reading...redecorating/organizing...trying to make myslef busy..but that one sec when i get time...everything starts again in head..like a movie...it just don;t stop...why is it happening...how to go pass this....i have no idea....i am still believing in god...i have faith something good will happen but sometimes that hope starts fading too...