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i think i am depressed, i’ve always been a ‘gloomy’ individual but i’ve never thought of it to be such an issue until now. i’d like to blame it on the fact that it’s november and the days are longer and the weather is worse but i think it’s me. i cannot motivate myself to do my work despite having important exams at the end of the year, i’ve ruined my friendships with others by distancing and isolating myself or simply getting frustrated at them, i can feel my boyfriend slipping away at every touch, my relationship with food is worsening by the minute. it feels wrong for me to ask for help, no one will take me seriously and i feel as though it’s not a big enough deal or i’m being selfish. simultaneously, i know that if anyone else asked me for help about such issues i would do everything to try make them feel better. so what is wrong with me? what have i become? i hate myself and everything about what’s going on in my life. i’ve ruined everything.
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It sounds pretty bad. These are just your thoughts. I'm guessing that almost no one in your circle would see things exactly as you have described here. All thoughts, including these you just shared, come and go. Most are unexpected and many are unwanted. Their arrival does not automatically make them meaningful. You do that. All thoughts require the energy that we provide to persist. Our thoughts get this energy from our attention, initially, and when we add mental comments, a dramatic story, some predictions, and emotions, they become super charged with staying power.
You are not your thoughts. You are the one who can and should decide which thoughts are worthy of further consideration. You have this powerful and sometimes complicated thinking instrument (your brain) that needs to be better understood and managed. This is a doable endeavor. You will continue to suffer until you treat this as a priority. I'll say more if you are ready to get on this.
Replythank you so much for your comment, it means a lot and i never expected anyone to say something in reply to the post. I guess i will have to try understand myself more and also consider that not all of these thoughts are necessarily true or right. thank you
ReplyLife brings to us the things we think about most and expect. You have to change your mind (your view about things) and the details will follow this lead. It starts on the inside, not the outside. If you remain down and depressed, re-read my post and reach out to me. I check in here every day usually.
ReplyI really appreciate you
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