My Unsent Letter

You have made my life more enjoyable throughout the years...I had someone to laugh with, care for and be cared for. Someone whom always drew me back to them. Because there's something about you. You're just everything I could ever want to share my existence with. You are my everything.

I have tried bending for you. I have left you alone when you requested it. I am trying so hard to show you that I want this, I want you. This cannot be considered a relationship as a relationship is in person babe. I honestly don't even know if you're in town...I don't know if you want to speak with me verbally. There's too many trolls to always find you or what I think you're trying to say to me. Why can't you please just speak with me? Because a relationship is based on compromise and communication and yes we're talking but hardly communicating. I want to know your needs, not others. You spoke of boundaries multiple times, well one of mine is not being public. I don't like it anymore, I'm reserved now. Yes I get loud but that's in private. Publicly, together in person. Let's show you off...online is different, this is bizarre. There's people watching, it's just a lot. I've had stalkers too hence my fb so I need to be safe too.

Don't think I'm going anywhere because I'm not. This publicity is hard to swallow. But I'm still here. When I asked you last night about my dog, it was because of your knowledge on the topic. Your schooling, why couldn't you help w that? A friend would have. I thought I was at least that to you. It wasn't about my home life, it's was my lil guy.

In order for this to progress we need to see one another or hear each others voices. That's all I ask, as adults we owe that to ourselves. I wake in the middle of the night and I think of you. Morning, noon and night. You're all I think about but I have responsibilities too. I always wanted you, I still do. I love you. My heart belongs to you, do with it as you will.

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