My Biggest Fear: myself

If you asked me two weeks ago if I would ever tell my family the truth about myself I would agree to do it in a heartbeat. But if you asked me today, I would act like my lies are the truth. I know what my family says about people like me and my cousin who is the perfect example of how my life would be if i told shouldn't affect how I choose to identify myself as but in a weird twisted way it does. How am I supposed to tell them how I truly feel inside when they just finished bashing my loved ones who I look up to? I am known by everyone for being outspoken and for not backing down to anyone, but now that I have to face my biggest fear, I'm scared. I don't want anything to change and I know it will if I told the truth. I shouldn't be afraid of saying the truth about myself simply because my family has different expectations of me. I don't know how to handle this situation and I'm scared.