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Today has been annoying. I got up and my TV had no audio. Unlike my parents TV's who almost never have a problem and they keep them on 24/7 unlike me I turn off various times and at bed. I read the TV in reviews is notorious to lose audio, fortunately I got it restored. I don't have money for a new TV I just bought it in July but without warranty. It also won't read channel information, which it did before I updated the software fine. Ever since the update its been screwy. I only wanted screen savers to listen to my music with is only reason I updated it. Who knew an update would screw alot up.
Anyway changing subjects
Dad sounds horrible he looks like hell. His drug weed and wine binge partying did a number to him his lungs he sounds bad. That's just sad despite all the abuse he's put me through and mom. You play hard you pay hard.
If im gonna party i would in moderation, not tee totally til you go out wake up start again. For days. He don't know when to quit plus cigarette smoking is catching up with him. Even if he did hurt me physically before without apologies heartlessly saying stuff like YOU FIGURE IT OUT etc. Well I think he's in beginning reaping what he's down. Or karma whatever. He was somewhat aggressive today because we'll weed amplifies his psychotic attitudes and lack of another drug isn't helping.
I can't help he's out. He took too many pills too soon that's on him not me. Sparks may fly but I can't help him this time though he expects it EVERY month. All from his b s binges. In that state he said he didn't care about anyone or anything. Problem is he remembers next to nothing. Cussing and the family. Maybe my therapist will read this one day soon. Ok they don't need to know everything. But his drug addiction is his own problem NOT MINE. Keep em or do without its what a Dr would say. He's took them long enough to know better but always does this anyway. I can't help it this time you're in your own. Mom's like I don't want no arguing or hitting the walls or cussing. If he wouldn't go full psychotic on me I wouldn't get mad to begin with or talk in crappy tones not owning what he does playing blame game. He needs help help we can't give him. He won't seek it he'd rather depend on me to bail him out then cuss me treat me like garbage alot of the time later. I get sick of it. Yet he will treat his sister, drug dealer like royalty, acquaintances talk to them with a Honey voice but give me a Rottweiler bark tone. That gets old. Give everyone the same treatment. He won't own taking his aggressiveness and anger out on me from others he's too afraid to confront. That's a coward. Im opposite of him I'll tell you how I feel regardless idc. Respect me and I'll respect you. In not a chicken sh!t coward like dad is. Anyway im weary of what's coming I know its coming. He knew better so that's not my fault he's out of drugs. End writing
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