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I always post about the people who wronged me. I was the victim. But friendships don't fall apart from just one person's actions. I did things wrong too.
Here's how I was toxic:
I dissed your religion, when you shoved it down my throat. I got tired on choking on it, so I spit it out. Religion isn't a bad thing, unless it is used by bad people. I didn't know how to differenciate back then. I'm sorry.
I was too harsh. I pointed out your flaws. How your actions affected others. But I didn't say it softly. It's difficult to hear helpful messages between a strong tone and harsh words. I get it. I'm sorry.
I reflected your toxicity like a mirror. I got tired of being left unheard. So I stopped listening to others too. I know that sucks. I'm sorry.
I wasn't always there for you when you needed it. I got tired of always having to support people. People would lean on me and I had to stand strong on my own feet, bearing the weight of their problems and mine. I shouldn't have brushed you off when it got to be too much. I'm sorry.
I wasn't there for me either. I needed to help myself to help others. But I neglected that, expecting others to care about my problems like I cared about theirs. That was wrong of me. I'm sorry.
I talked shit behind your back. Still do. Just like you did back then. But the stuff I say is true. I let it out to my mother and this website. It sucks when people say bad things like that. I'm sorry.
I judged you, a lot. I couldn't understand your actions. Why you hurt people. Why you couldn't be better. I'm sure your trying. I didn't see you efforts. I still don't. But maybe I don't have to. I'm sorry.
I cut you off without a word. I guess you could call it ghosting. All that stuff happened so long ago, but the truth is, I couldn't forget about it all. So I decided life would be easier without you in it. I'm sure it was confusing to realize. I'm sorry.
I am sorry. I hope you'll understand. I was doing what I thought I had to do to survive back then. I'm sure you were too. We just had different ways of doing that. Neither of them were right. Live your life. I'll live mine. I wish you well.
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