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This feels like an unnecessary post but I felt like saying how I feel at the moment. I feel blinded by lies, I feel frustrated and discouraged by what I feel might be real lies or something fake, but I don't know. Like Madonna put it: "One little lie can ruin my day, words are like weapons they betray. When I am afraid, one word of kindness it can save me". I have this phrase engraved deep down in my heart, and I feel it's true. It can also mean one word of kindness as in, one speech of kindness, meaning not only just one word. So yeah, it's like I can have happiness, even extreme happiness, only for a brief moment, and then there's times where I can't keep going and need to stop to think. Those moments are like I only exist for myself and I forget about the whole world. I want to stop trying when I already made it, I want to stop depending on me trying to recompose myself. Like Eminem put it: "But I think I'm still trying to figure this crap out". I think that was a subliminal message for me or everyone really. I can't stress enough how I think I made it in life, only to be screwed over by moments where I feel betrayed and feel like I can't go on anymore. I guess I'm trying to make sense, so when I don't find it I feel the world is lying to me. I need to always feel reassured, so when the world throws a temper tantrum to me I feel sad or depressed. I think only positive things like love can fix this. My advice for everyone is to always keep everyone in your mind, even if it's just a notion, because that means in the back of your head you care, and that could save lives. It's either you got it or you keep going. It's either you're home or you carry on. Why must it be one way or the other, and why does one way always have to suck? Like a truck driver on the highway mocking a walking person because he's up there and you're down there. This symphony that is life can be disgusting, why must we part ways sometimes? Why can't we all go one direction? No matter what I do, when something gets to me, it will only fix itself, I have no choice in the matter. It would keep bothering me until it goes away. That is this moment, I feel lied to and hated on. How much longer must it be that way? You know what I feel sometimes? That people want to hate because they are so damn cool about themselves. They must also think they made it in life, and because negativity sells they want to make you feel bad. Even the people you really love, are bullies! And that's true, remember that. You know when you cum you feel bad the first few times? That's because you know you did something bad. Oh damn, that sperm could have carried the next president of the United States. Well, yes! You should feel bad. I bet you feel bad when you lie to me or show how much of a bully you are! Damn, I let it all out. I feel better.
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