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im 19, will turn 20 in a few months. my parents were talking about finding a partner for my sister who's not too far from my age, a partner for an arranged marriage. i knew this was something that happened in some parts of the world, but i didn't think it still happened. i'm not ready, in fact i never want to marry. i see my parents' marriage and its my biggest nightmare to end up like that. i fear for the day i have to add marriage pressure onto my list of worries. and apparently that day will be sooner than i would think
i looked up ways to avoid such pressure - an option was moving away. and it just feels so overwhelming thinking about moving out when i've got no one by my side. no siblings i'm close to, no freinds. i feel so alone even when i have all these people in my life.
im not very stable mentally, some days i feel especially suicidal and i fear that the whole marraige idea problem on my plate, is just going to make things worse.
i think im not good at all with managing problems. i think my parents are to blame. they protected and spoiled me too much so i feel like every small thing is a big dilemma. im trying my best to get out of this mental state, but i just cant. ive been trying to be not so vulnerable to problems but it just doenst work, somehow a bigger issue comes unexpectedly and i just break. i wonder if i decide to live, then would the rest of my life consist of just chasing problems after problems until one day i can't.
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Talk to a therapist about the damage you received as a child and how it has affected you and look at the positive side to an arranged marriage. I am of western culture and people in love marriages are forever getting divorced. With arranged marriages it isn't just about the girl and guy marrying. It is about the girl going from the safety and protection of one family to the safety and protection of another. As long as the girl and guy like one another, have shared interests, a get along, and have respect for each other why not be married?
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