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It wasn't love at first sight. It took time. Slowly I became more and more fascinated by you. I never really even dared to dream that you would share the feelings I had for you. But I treasured every bit of our short interactions. I would have been delighted to just have the privilege of being your friend.
I look up to you for your strength, confidence and intelligence. In my eyes you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen.... I have never loved a girl before, yet YOU just completely shook my world. One of your -oh so precious- smiles was enough to have me flying above the clouds for the rest of the day. Till I was to see you again. A simple interaction. A joke. A laugh. Your happy little dances. I have been completely beguiled. When you popped up unexpected I could feel my heart skip a beat, as I saw your face. My stomach, suddenly, tied in a knot. I always thought those were just "things people say". Now I know...
The last day. I had been dreading that day since the beginning. You didn't know you would not be seeing me again. You almost left without saying goodbye...not that it mattered to you. I ran and called your name. I told you it was my last day. You kissed my cheeks and said goodbye. I watched you walk away. In my mind just white noise. Till later when I went home. All I could do was lay in my bed. Tears came unnoticed as I was beginning to realize it was over. That was the last time I saw you. The last time I would hear your voice. That voice that made my world spin. And your face. Your so perfectly flawed skin. A reminder that in reality you are human too. But not in my eyes. In my eyes your feet never did touch the ground. Every piece of you, a puzzle of perfection.
I have never loved like this before. The kind of unselfish love. I didn't care if you weren't mine. It wasn't overflowing with lust. I just wanted to see you laugh and smile and be happy. Be you! The girl that stole my heart.... The girl that changed my world. The girl that showed me a woman can be beautiful while being strong and smart and real.
It has been almost two months since that last time I saw you. And I still think about you every day. Platonic love is the hardest to get over. I still often get overwhelmed by the feeling. It hurts me. But even so, I am glad I met you. I learned so much from you. My world will never be the same. I feel like you freed me in a way. Now I know to be proud of how I am, just like you were. And walk tall. And even though you, in a way, rejected me, I feel stronger.
I only wish I could tell you those things. But I fear you wouldn't understand. And even if you did understand, you probably wouldn't care. But in my mind I thank you every day. For being my "teacher". For helping me love myself. I really needed that, you know. In a way I know, I will always love you for that.
It is now time to bury you somewhere deep in my heart, where you will be safe from time. But in a way such as I will not hurt when hearing your name, or seeing the places you once were at. In a way so that pain will not make me hate you in time. You are the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me. Now it's time to let you go. It's time to say goodbye.
Farewell, A.
You will not be forgotten.
-A girl that truly, purely loved you.
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