Socially isolated- The real dark

I have been living socially alone from age 10. Yes, You guess it right I am dark, not from south but from that place where fashion and fair skin is all that is important. I am a North Indian, good in academics and but in social life, not because I want to be. It was Because I was isolated in dark

At very young age I somehow was enjoying being alone. Others were tagging me lonely but I was living best of my life being at home. Slowly I grew up all with others physically but not socially. I am still same but now I am not enjoying being alone, at my age now I want to die. Its been 25years since I was born. Working in a corporate, away from home and family. No one to walk with, No one to speak to and no one to cry on. Watching people talking in groups whispering and plotting politics and there I am still same, isolated in dark.

How to be more patience, how to express out. I am not 10 any more and still same - Isolated in dark. ( 1 Pray for me is 1 year less from my life, I can not take it anymore. - I am isolated in dark )