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I fought like hell last year to reach my birthday. It'll be here in a few weeks. But I went through hell last year just the same as I am this year. Only its becoming worse. I want to live to make it to this birthday it feels like besides family im always being opposed like against the wind in a uphill battle. Last year was a milestone birthday so fortunately it for celebrated that was the only good thing I had pizza I've cream and a card. Plus a few hbd wishes on FB. But this year likely won't get acknowledged as much. If it don't it don't im just trying to scrape like hell tooth and nail to reach it from all the hellish behavior in the house from my parents primarily from my dad doesn't make things any easier. Wgstt irks me is also some people even though we're friend's will comment Happy birthday to me on my moms page instead of my own wtf is up with that? See my mom and dad also act like ah its just another day when deep down they really want remembered. Because I remember last year dad being depressed because nobody wouldn't wish him happy birthday. I wasn't going to because he's an abusive asshole but im completely heartless despite my hate fir his I'll treatment of me. I could have said go fk yourself but I didn't. Mom was like go tell him happy birthday so I said happy birthday you old fart. He laughed at it. Otherwise it seems like something is trying to prevent me from seeing my birthday idk why. Last year seemed that way too. Im not quitting because im still breathing even though my life is really hard lately.
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