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i come into work and overall i am just miserable. i have no motivation to do anything. i may be happy to be there for the first 20 mins but then i feel like garbage. i dont want to do anything and i dont want to get my projects done. idk if its just a depressive episode or my job is no longer enjoyable or what. i feel so bad for my coworkers cause i feel like i do nothing. they have to pick up all my slack cause im not doing enough. i just dont have the energy to... i just want to lay down and sleep. get food and eat. buy alcohol and drink. i want to numb my brain and feel the best emotions i can in that small time i get to spend at home after work. i dont wanna go to counsleing. i want to wither and rot away. im worthless and i make my coworkers feel bad cause they have to be around me. i bring no good energy when im like this. its miserable. im miserable. im upset that ive gained weight too so i say all these things of eating and drinking but i will feel too guilty too eat. ill prob just not eat at all. wh y am i like this. i hate myself so much. i wanna go home. its only been 3 hours in the office. i was like this yesterday too. the second i got in my car to leave i felt better. sooooo i think its literally just my office. no one seems happy to be here anymore now i feel so unmotivated and worthless. i dont do enough. im tired. theres just always something wrong with me. im sorry my friends have to put up with me. im sorry. im sorry. what if i just give up. just everything. no longer try. idk imma try to make it thru the day. its the bare minimum rn. hopefully ill feel happy and motivated again.
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You need to do something different if you want a different result. Plain and simple you need to do something different. Get healthy, stop over eating or making bad food choices and start moving.
If you don't want to see a counsellor is that because you don't really want to fix yourself or you don't have the motivation to try?
Don't quit your job unless you have another as this will just be a downward spiral for you. Plus I don't think it's your job, not completely anyway. Is it possible that you feel better when you get to your car at the end of the day, because then you'll be left alone, won't need to be around ppl and can just do the drinking, eating and general alone time you desire? You need to do enjoyable things, not just work otherwise wtf is the point. You work to give yourself the ability to live as comfortably as possible. Introduce something different to your day.
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