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Hello, call me BloxyColaSweet or Bloxy for short.
1) My parents would shout at me for an accident
My parents would yell, curse, and rage at me and call me names, everytime I did an accident I didnt mean or something I did on purpose that I didnt know I wasnt suppose to do. One time, I got bored and so I messed with charcoal on my desktop table, after that I was planning to clean it up later but when my parents came in one of them shouted at me and and used a curse word and called me "stupid". I was starting to think that this was normal for parenting, my parents said that it was 'unintentional' but they wont stop doing it. I even confronted them to stop doing it but they said that it was 'unintentional' and 'they curse and say things when they are angry'. They would also make threating gestures at me like gesturing to hit me and other things.
2) My parents restricted me from anything I liked.
So one of my parents is really suspicous of me for no reason and thinks im always doing something bad on the internet while im not, so they set up this app called
Family Link that would treat me like a 5 year old. Im used to downloading games without my parents permission all the time for 6 years, and I understand I stay away from unsafe sites, so I was safe for 6 years. But now because of Family Link it treated me like a 5 year old and locked almost everything to 'keep me safe'.
Ive tried venting in my room about it to let it all out, but they didnt seem to get the sentence of "I need more time to myself" and instead get mad at me because I was having a breakdown, so I cant vent. And so I found Novni and here I am now.
Cheers! - Bloxy.
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I forgot to tell you, that they did this to my sister too, It was really worse for her.
ReplyThis is their style of parenting which obviously doesn't suit you. A lot of people have nothing to look forward to, but you are lucky because you have the day you leave home to look forward to.
ReplyOMG! This is totally relatable, but you are not alone, I promise. I have 3 pieces of advice for you:
1)
Try to breathe- think 20 times before saying anything while they're raging. You may accidentally "feed the fire" and make the entire situation worse, don't say anything until you've taken several calming breathes and thought it over for a few minutes.
2)
Try approaching them -but!- maybe instead of a confrontational tone see what you all can do about your current boundaries. Such as
"Parents; can we please do something about the controls? We don't have to get rid of them completely but can we squeak some things? I am older and more responsible now, I think I can have a little more control."
or
" Parent(s) can I please have some time to myself in my room? I would rather come out calm and collected to talk to you then say something I don't want to in anger."
3)
Be nice to yourself! It can be hard finding the right ground at first and you can often beat yourself up and start believing some of the stuff your parents say in anger, but remember this:
1) You're awesome! I don't think you're stupid; and the fact that they do is, well... stupid!
2) Your parents do love you! Their way of parenting is a little more strict than other parents but one thing is true about all parents; they're trying their best! Even though you've had 9 months to prepare it's always such a surprise when a living, breathing human being is placed into your care and you're expected to take care of it?! How do you do that?! So remember; don't be too hard on them. They're trying their best.
Best of luck,
Sam2011
ReplyI didn't mention this but if it ever comes to the point where they actually hit you never, ever hesitate to seek help. Ask a trusted family member to step in for you and talk to them.
- Sam2011
ReplyThank you, however about explaining the current boundaries, they surely don't give up on disagreeing to what I say. For example "I am older and more responsible now, I think I can have a little more control." I say, they would disagree and get stressed out over it and then we would get into an argument.
Reply