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i am stuck
under your grip;
i cannot change what has been,
but it does not stop me
from loving unconditionally.
it's a terrifying thing to be stuck
under someone's grip like this;
because while they did this thing to me,
they were also the one who was there
when i was vulnerable and sad,
they showed me kindness and love as well.
it's a terrifying thing to be stuck
under someone's grip like this;
i'm afraid to trust them again.
because they hurt me in this way
but i can't help but love them still
they've done it and i can't change it
they've hurt me and i can't erase it
and yet i love them still
i need their touch, and i need it still
i am afraid of them
i am so afraid of them, of their touch
their words, their breath;
their scent, their sound
and yet i love them still
and so i do it,
my hands are stained with blood
their last moments,
are filled with pain and regret.
still, i do it, i love them still
i could not do it any other way
i see them lying there,
the end of the one who hurt me;
i feel no regret, i feel no pain;
the only thing i feel is satisfaction
but i cannot help but love them still
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