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Alright- as a person (female) who could live without touch, I’ve gone 18 years and 11 months without kissing anyone. Until yesterday when I had my first kiss.
Now mind you, I think these 18 years of watching movies and series of young love, or first love has romanticised the idea of the first kiss in a relationship. I guess you could say I translated those to what would be my first kiss.
Well, I need complete transparency from all you onlookers who read the following divulged message. Because- all my friends and acquaintances have illustrated that everyone’s first kiss is BAD. And mine was, but I’m genuinely not sure if I’m put off for life from it.
It wasn’t awful as in traumatising- but there are so many uncertainties that no one cares to explain to me, or cringe at the thought of explanation.
My first kiss happened on my 5th time at a club. I was dancing to some of the classics and the next thing I know someone was dancing on me- whatever as I know this stuff happens and it happened several times before him. After a few shots the idea of touch is a lot less grotesque and a little bit more “meh- could live with or without it”. So as I turn around to see who it is the guy who I’ve interacted with for all of 45 seconds grabs me by the neck and kisses me.
The people pleaser in me said “how awkward would it be to say no” so I kept going with it, I was a little uncomfortable but a lot more curious.
So that lasts for roughly 2 minutes- and yes I was counting in Mississippi’s because I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing or thinking.
But I am honestly perplexed. Because I genuinely have no idea what is what. Obviously I would have taken preference to knowing the person so it felt a little more personal and passionate - but hey, at some point I kind of just wanted this banner of “never been kissed” to leave.
So- to the public who do kiss- what’s are some of the main points I need to think about when I’m kissing someone?
During the kiss I was thinking: “ gosh when am I supposed to breathe?” “is his tongue meant to be there?” “What am I supposed to do with my tongue”. As you can imagine in my 2 minute affair with him (and then a minute later another 2 minute affair because I was like maybe after he had something to drink he would be better- or I would be wiser????) I went through a thousand questions.
So help a girl out and share your experience.
I know not one model fits all but anything would be appreciated.
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Ok so I think what you've been feeling is kinda normal ... everyone's first kiss is like that atleast mine was , I had no idea what I was supposed to do but what made difference is that the person i had my first kiss with knew that it was my first kiss and it wasn't his first kiss so hey atleast he knew what to do 😂... but at first I was just standing there doing nothing first because I was kinda surprised that it was actually happening to me and second it felt great having someone else's lips on mine specially when those are moving so freeking gentaly... and then it hit me that oooo I am supposed to move my lips as well and I just moved along with his but luckily we didn't went far you know with like tongue and all sooooo.... i'll say no need to feel awkward about how your first kiss was , you will get eventually better at it with more practice but i'll suggest having it with someone special because when it is out of love it will make you feel a Thousand times better ... other than that don't think tooo much into it
ReplyHaha thank you so much for your experience and insight!!!!!!! I beyond appreciate it and it definitely makes me feel better
ReplyMy first kiss was so spontaneous , i mean obv i felt happy i mean duh "first kiss", tho my boyfriend (now ex) went on about how he wants to kiss me the previous night but i thought he was sleep high. The next day we were in a movie theater watching a movie yup a theater , and i was literally focused on the screen but he was really restless , he kept on turning his head analyzing his surroundings and there was a couple like 4 or 5 seats to my left , and then he slowly places his hand on my shoulder (the seat)(old classic move) and then that hand moves towards my nape and suddenly my head is jerked towards his direction and before i can actually figure out we were kissing . I was in shock for a min too and since i was inexperienced i had no fucking clue what to do but i went with him and tbh it felt great, i never thought kissing someone would feel this good but it did. Yeah , but i would have wanted it to happen someplace private ..... and then after the kiss , i mean when he released i realized that shitt there are people around me , and the entire time he was the one talking and i was just blushing like some 2nd grade...ugh....and yeah then same day at night i started wondering what if i did something wrong , or what if he didn't feel good.
but trust me go with the flow, its worth it :)
ReplyThank you so much for your story!! It was super cute and had me giddy reading it
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