sometimes

sometimes i still wish you were here, by my side, holding my hand, looking out for me, comforting me and just hold me

sometimes i still think about you in this way

sometimes i hope for you to come back and love me like you once did

sometimes i think about just texting you

and i think about you in the same way when i was still yours, when you still cared about me, but i know it will never be the same again, i would see it in your eyes that you don’t think of me in the same way, and maybe you would see that i can never think of you as the one you used to be, that everything between us changed

sometimes i wish i could just turn back the time

but also i’m wondering if you still think about me, or if you ever did after our breakup

i wonder if you cried, i wonder if you looked at pictures of us, i wonder if your heart hurt when you let me go

i wonder if your heart breaks, every time you hear my name, i wonder if it rips you apart if you see a picture of me, i wonder if you were crying yourself to sleep because you missed me, i wonder if you ever try to remember my smell or my voice, i wonder if you turn around when you think you heard my voice,

i wonder if everything reminds you of me when you walk down a street

sometimes i hope you will reach out to me again and tell me how much you missed me, how much you craved me and that you never meant to leave me, that you just didn’t want to hurt me, that you never stopped loving me, and that you would never make the same mistake again, that you would never leave me ever

but you promised this once and you broke it twice and maybe it will work out

but what if it ends the same and i now if you come back i would be there with open arms and take you back and love you the same way, if not even more

and i don’t want to get through any more of this pain i couldn’t i just couldn’t, so maybe it’s better for you to not be in my life, to not come back, to live your life without me, it’s better for me to move on even if i never will

even if i will love you forever, even if the pain never goes away, even if i want you and even if it kills me

but the most hurtful part is, that i was actually happy, i actually felt good after a long time, i felt alive, when i was with you

and i think i will never stop loving you