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Last time I was here was a couple months ago I was asking if a boy liked me turns out he did! But it didn't last long but before I get there I'm going to vent a bit. I'll start in November so my little sister had a soccer game on a Sunday afternoon and my crush and his family came to see the game as it was her final game of the season ( this was the first time I saw him outside of church) after the game my crush and I talked and he asked for my number I gave it to him and I was happy ( I didn't know he liked me yet). The next day we saw each other again and we were supposed to practice our instruments ( we didn't) as our leader was in a meeting most of the time so my crush and I just talked for hours and we had a lot of fun together. A week passes and we see each other again and we end up talking and I notice he's became a bit more bolder with his actions he kept getting close to me when we were in a group setting and I would always catch him staring at me ( I didn't think much of it as I thought I had something on my face) after this he texts me for the first time and we would only text whenever we saw each other and this went on for about 2 weeks and then he started texting me on other days and our conversations became longer and longer. I noticed this happen when we played a duet together for youth night (first time I played in front of people in a year after I blanked and couldn't finish playing) later that night he texts me and said he was proud of me as I would always avoid playing in front of people and he noticed that before I played I got really anxious. But I played and we talked for awhile and then I asked him what he wanted as his profile pic. He told me and then he proceeded to tell that he had me as a kitten he showed me the pic and he said it looked like me if I was a cat I asked how and he responded, " if I were you were a cat that's what I would imagine in other words cute" this was the first time he complimented me but me being clueless thought he meant as a friend or he viewed as a younger sister as we have a 3 year age gap. This went on a bit and I noticed that if I had to stay at church longer he would to even though his family already left and he finished all he needed to do. and then the Christmas Eve service came and by this time he would tell me that I was beautiful gorgeous cute and adorable and he would say that I was very sweet and everything like that. I saw him one time with earrings so I thought he got his ears pierced and I asked him he said yes ( he didn't) and when I found out he didn't I told him and he apologized for the misunderstanding and said that the next time he say me he would give me a hug we didn't hug until the Christmas Eve service because we never got the chance to. But I had to play for the Christmas Eve service so I was obviously anxious anyway my crush and I were talking with our friends 5 minutes before it stared and suddenly everyone walks away leaving us alone. He notices and opens his arms indicating a hug and so we hugged and I was telling him how nervous I was while hugging him and he hugged me tighter and he gave me some advice to relax. he then told me how he was nervous to (he had to sing) and throughout this entire conversation we hugged up until service started everything went great and after service he came up to me and said I did great (we were alone) and then he gave me a high five and touched my arm and then pulled me in for another hug and then our friends came and we all just talked until I left which he gave me another hug before I left once I left a little kid saw us hug and he started to tease us. My crush later texted me and I asked what the little kid had said and he said that the little kid was teasing and asking if he was going to propose. I said that it's funny how he got all that from a hug and asked what he said. He then tried changing the subject to which I told him to not change the subject and he said " Okay I'll tell you I said eventually but I won't give her one of my rings I'll give her her own" to which I was surprised and we confessed that night. everything was going great until my parents found out and said that we can't be together (keep in mind that my parents are very strict and don't care what happens to the other person as long as I'm okay and doing what they want) so they have a huge talk to me to which I obviously cry about and my parents have kept me from seeing him talking to him took my phone away and won't even let me explain anything to him so who know what he thinks is happening. but it turns out my crush liked me for over two years and this whole thing is to much. As my parents are making me graduate early and want me to do a speech and are acting like nothing has happened when inside I'm literal dying as I can't tell him anything, all I know is thanks to my sister is that he too is irritated and sad understandable as my parents made it seem like I just ghosted him out of nowhere. all until this past Sunday when I saw him again which was rough as my dad was so persistent that I just stay and one spot and not leave or talk to anyone and as soon as everything was done he made me leave immediately after service so I couldn't talk to my crush/boyfriend and I don't know what to do as my parents keep telling me to get over it and to focus on school but every night I'm crying and I don't feel hungry and my parents only noticed that it was still bothering on me on Sunday as I cried at least 5 times during service just seeing him and not be able to tell him everything that's happened. And my parents noticed and yet they still tell me to get over it and say that I need to go to god to get over it and I should just worry about school graduating and god. but then my mom talked to me again when were in the care and she said that you should only focus on your dreams of graduating and going to UCLA ( her dream she never went to college and I honestly don't want to go I've told her she doesn't care) she even gives me things to do so I can't think about him and everyday I feel like crying and breaking down but I can't I'm the oldest of 4 kids so my siblings look up to me my sister knows everything but my brothers don't and my parents more so my mom is keep telling me to get over it and it doesn't help that my sister keeps making jokes like your not going to have a Valentine and stuff like that everyday. And when I saw him on Sunday we made eye contact and I felt him staring at me but I couldn't muster the confidence to look up and It doesn't help that my parents are going to talk to the pastor of the church (my cousin) and tell him everything and why know what will happen I need advice and help what should do? I know this is a lot but please help me
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If you know someone who knows him give this person a message to give him, or if you have his home address write him a letter. Or go to his house and talk to him. Or use someone else's phone and call him. Your mother thinks that if you keep seeing him this will distract you from your studies and you might not get into college. Your mother is very selfish expecting you to go to college when you don't want to go there.
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